I am in my mid-twenties. I am an Evangelical seminary student studying theology. I like witty comedies, stupid puns, and pizza. I decided to write this blog after having several conversations with friends and feeling pressure from that Holy Spirit that makes me do things.
I remember talking to my friend, T., “Having looked at my life these past few years, I can honestly say that if it weren’t for God’s hand in my life introducing me to just the right resources at just the right time, there’s no way I would be a Christian right now, no way that I would be as far as I am in my walk with Christ, no way that I would still love the Lord…Do I not have a responsibility to share what I have learned with others who are hurting, lost and confused?”
You see, I am a gay man. Since about the age of 13, I have found that the majority, if not all, of my attractions have been toward people of my own gender. Where my male friends have felt sexual attraction towards women feeling that crush-like love toward a few special women, I have felt those same butterflies toward a few men in my life. Because of this attraction, I have experienced interpersonal relationships in a very different way than the majority of my friends. I had to pay careful attention to what I said and how I said it (lest they find out!). As Chris Damian puts it, “Being in the closet is like being the only brown-haired person in the world and having to dye your hair so that no one finds out.” This experience of living as a sexual minority (of hyper self-awareness) is common to other sexual minorities and using the label gay allows me to connect with others like me and not deny that this is a part of my experience.
(If you are a Christian who has difficulty with the label gay, check out some posts here. Don’t let it be a stumbling block for you!)
I am also a celibate man. I believe that God is a God of Holy Love. Not only does he accept and welcome us just as we are, but He calls us to a deeper holiness than we could ever imagine. In many ways, He calls us to self-denial and to bear our crosses. In short, I believe that sin is wicked, corrupting and damaging. I believe that everything has been marred by the Fall including sexuality. I believe that homosexuality itself is not a sin – an attraction or desire to sin is not to sin. I do believe that homosexuality is inherently disordered in that it would not have been God’s intention for humans. I believe that God’s intention for our sexual expression here on earth is celibacy in singleness and fidelity in marriage between a man and a woman. So, nope, I won’t be having sex with a man or anyone for that matter in this lifetime.
But let’s be real. Celibacy is hard. In our society today, so much emphasis is placed on sex and marriage being the highest good (which is a relatively recent emphasis). Most people think the life of a celibate must be vewwy, vewwy sad. Plus, what do you do when all of your friends are dating or getting married? Who’s left to love you? Celibacy is a hard path to walk but it is not one without its joys and blessings.
Plus, if you tell me you “could never be celibate” I will throat punch you. First of all, if you’re not married, you’re called to celibacy. Celibacy doesn’t mean abstaining from sex and then going off into the corner to watch pornography and masturbate. It means giving your entire all to Christ. If you’re not content with your sexual expression now as a single person, you won’t be when you’re married.
So this is me! Read some of my stuff and offer me feedback!